Depression & Anxiety.. Robin Williams Rest In Peace

I have been pondering on what to write for hours. I am just going to write this as it flows from my mind to my fingers to the words on the computer screen, it will not be edited or corrected.I just want to write what I have in mind . Read this for what it is, take from it what you will. Since learning of the death of the wonderful comedian Robin Williams it has plagued me and made me think about my own life a little differently.. well a lot actually. Last year in July of 2013 I was admitted to hospital, what I thought was me having a heart attack it was me in a fully blown anxiety attack, I couldn’t breathe, I was sweaty, anxious and if I am honest.. very scared. I was diagnosed with anxiety and that was that. I was basically just told to “Go home and relax and avoid stress” They never talked over with me anything regarding what it was happening how I can prevent such attacks from happening again or anything like that. I just said to myself, I don’t want to go through that again. A few days later I did.. This time I was in public and my breathing was becoming impossible to catch, I started to sweat profusely and I was worried about everyone around me.. I wanted to get away from where I was then and there. I told my father who was with me it started to happen again, the anxiety was here raising its ugly head in public. I decided to put my headphones in and listen to music that made me happy and concentrate on my breathing. It seemed to ease the way I was feeling. I am still coping with anxiety and depression. It’s a battle, but it’s one I will continue to fight. There has been times in my life I have felt like ending my life due to things that has happened, which I won’t go into here. But if I did, I would not experience such things I have in my life now. I am happily married and have a husband whom I dearly love. I write stories, poetry and things I am looking into getting published. I am apart of something that is so inspiring that will be available for the entire world to see in September of 2014 ( Next Month ) as I write this since today is the 12 Of August as I write this. Now my thoughts onto Robin Williams. Robin I never knew you, but ever since I was a child I wish I had of met you. You made others laugh and that was truly a gift. As I grew older I wished even more that I could of met one of my comedy idols, with the likes of other comedy idols I had which have now passed. John Candy, Richard Pryor, Chris Farley, John Ritter, John Belushi, and those are just to name a few. I grew up in a household where we loved to watch movies and everyone I just mentioned were kings of their time. The 80s was a different time it was a simpler time. Music was different, movies and television shows were something I still carry with me well into the millennium. I watch the older shows which was once new to me and listen to the music that I loved best and still do. Robin Williams starred in so many memorable films and he appeared in straight roles as well. Every movie I watched of his made me feel like he has made a mark in the world and he truly has. To anyone that is suffering with Depression and or anxiety I urge you to get help! Call somebody, Call Beyond Blue in Australia and call your local helplines wherever you are in the world. Reach out to someone! Anyone! They maybe able to help. You are not alone! Please reach out! Know the signs of depression. Although sometimes we may joke and smile and make others laugh inside may not be the case. Happiness may not be within us.. It could just be masking the hurt that we actually feel. in the quote of Robin Williams ” I used to the worst thing in life was the end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone” Call someone today, if you think they are feeling down call them. It could just make their day. Visit people, lets walk back from social networks sometimes, and get back to getting to know people again. Take time out of your life to be with friends and family.. Always check in now and again. Please stay positive guys! If anyone wants to drop me a line.. You can contact me on twitter @Moondance_81

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